Reminiscing...

It is 12.30 AM as I am going through memory lane. I know, for many, Michael Jackson's death is getting old. However, I'm just now getting out of the shock and starting to realize what has happened. Plus, I'm extremely tired, therefore sensitive and emotional.

I was born in 1984. Most of his best songs had already been released. Nevertheless, they were still extremely popular while I was growing up. This was before he was being accused of child molestation. When I was in elementary school, I wasn't into music yet. I wasn't trying to stay up to date of the newest songs. I just liked whatever was presented to me.

Around that time I was taking jazzdance classes. I think my instructor must have been a fan of M.J., because every Saturday we would do our warm-up on the same song, "Remember the Time". I eventually bought his Double album "History". I loved it!
My favorite songs were Beat it, Thriller, Earth Song, Remember the Time, History, Black or White, Heal The World and Scream.


I had some very lonely moments, growing up. But at that time, music and dance was still able to fill the empty spots I had in my life. I remember listening to "Scream", turning the music up to the maximum, and when the glass would break I would start dancing like crazy. Or, on the days I was sad, I would listen to "Earth Song", and sing along with him. By the end of the song I had tears dripping over my cheeks. His music was so intense. It never became old. New songs came and went, but from time to time, I just had to pop his CD in my stereo system and go crazy on his music. Let myself go.

When Michael Jackson came to Belgium, I was still very young, but I knew I wanted to go to his concert. My cousin and her Mom or Dad went. I was jealous. I wished her the best, but I wanted to be there with her. I begged and begged my father, but they wouldn't let me go. Somehow I had it set in my head that I was going to go anyways. I had packed my bag, and had everything ready. But I spent the night crying and fussing in my bed, because like I already knew I couldn't go.

I never met him.

Then the accusations started, but I've never been much of a fan of gossip. I kind of stayed away from it. Because, who knows what really happened. I wasn't interested in his personal life. Honestly, I didn't know much of him. All I knew was his music, the only (double) CD I had. I had read the CD-book several times. I liked his poetry, I cared about him, because of his childhood. And that was about it. I wasn't obsessed by him, I wasn't his number 1 fan. I will never be. His death doesn't change that. But I have always loved his music and dance performances.

I think it's sad, that he died and people still think of him as a pedophile. Even though I believe he never harmed those boys. He's been very misunderstood. And people are always so easy to judge, even though they have never met him or witnessed any of the accusations. Yet, he IS a pedophile. I wish people could just let it all go. Let him rest in peace. God knows what happened.